it's 1.21am

yet another monday, mondays where i have to attend class and be in a room with 20 other people and still feel lonely.

movies and tv shows lie. college life is suppose to be fun, not (fill in appropriate adjective) like this. i don't like college, never did, never will. i'd probably feel better if i had my friends in the same college, but sadly they're somewhere else. people in college are nice and all, but i feel like an outsider. i'm always somewhat in a 'different frequency' as everyone else. i don't like starting conversations with them, or rather i don't try. i don't try because i don't feel the need to. save the attention for those more needy :)

can't wait for this hell to be over. should've went to taiwan when i had the chance.

my little circle of friends got even smaller after ken left to russia. goodbyes do get easier after a while, because you learn not to say 'goodbye' but 'see you soon' instead. everyone will be back soon enough, then we can have our little gatherings again. but until then, i'm gratefully gripping on tightly to what i have left.

the only times i actually feel happy are friday nights, 3 hours of me doing what i love, surrounded by people who won't judge me. because we're all big dreamers, working towards the same goal. recently, something got me thinking, this could actually be going somewhere, this could potentially be something i want to do as a career, not that mass comm shit i've been 'learning' in college. if i could drop out of college, i would.

this is one rare emo-midnight post you may or may never see ever again. appreciate it. & with no pictures, wow, that's a first.

:) goodnight.